Burger King vs. McDonald's - Big King vs Big Mac - In-depth Burger Showdown

For centuries the house of McDonald sat upon the Iron Skillet and ruled the Seven Fast Food Kingdoms with a mythical burger that drew its power from a mysterious special sauce. Many have tried to challenge The Big Mac, some even declared a full-scale war (like the Big Carl) but were crushed by The Big Mac's weird third bun.

The Big King, ruler of the house Burger King, birthed two flame-broiled meat patties from ancient fire and through some sort of alchemy conjured up a rival "King Sauce" (Mayo, sweet pickle relish, yellow mustered, vinegar, garlic powder, onion powder, and paprika)

This blog will chronically in detail the epic battle between these two burgers.

When I first put them side by side you can definitely see that the Big Mac is quite larger than the Big King. (Big Mac: 1 - Big King: 0) Maybe it's because the Big Mac's buns are made from a compound that can withstand a 40 ton nuclear blast and that's why the bread keeps its shape.

As we dive into the first layer of the burgers we can see that the Big King's meat patties have "grill marks" which are achieved through some sort of jet fire conveyor belt contraption that gives the meat a smokey taste the Big Mac does not have. My wife says it reeks of awful liquid smoke and tries too hard to not taste microwaved (even though the are reheated in one) but I think I prefer it to the Big Mac's patty. (Big Mac: 1 - Big King: 1 )

The Big King uses a more rustic cut pickle (seen in the previous layer) vs Big Mac's really processed cut pickle. The Big King also has a SECOND coating of King sauce in this layer which really adds to the flavor but makes the burger super soggy. The Big Mac's special sauce has yet to make an appearance. (Big Mac: 1 - Big King: 2)

Here the Big King has cheese that has melted on the patty which was kind of nice but it made the center bun even soggier because it soaked through it. The Big Mac had a little more cheese. (Big Mac: 2 - Big King: 2)

In the final layer we see the first and final appearance of The Big Mac's special sauce. It would have been nice if they had put the cheese on the previous layer to to separate it from the lettuce.

So who gets to rule the Iron Skillet? When it comes down to aesthetics, the Big Mac looks like the superior burger but when you break it down into layers, The Big King looks like it was better constructed with higher quality ingredients.

But what it all boils down to is the taste. Which one of these burgers reigns supreme? First off, the Big Mac tasted clean and wasn't messy. The amount of sauce complimented the burger fine and it tasted pretty good.

The Big King on the other hand had much better quality ingredients (better meat & better pickles)  and seemed to have more special sauce than The Big Mac but for some reason I really didn't like it as much. My wife also tried the vs. challenge with me and also agreed that there was something off about The Big King.

Maybe it was how soggy the buns were or that it was a lot messier to eat but I didn't enjoy it as much. I wasn't thrilled about how The Big King handled their cheese or sauce but not to say that it's a bad burger. I just preferred The Big Mac. (Big Mac: 3 - Big King: 2)

Both can be purchased for $4 which I think is waaaaay over priced and both will significantly reduce your life span just as equally.

Big King Nutritional Facts: (190g) Serving Size - (510) Calories - (260) Calories from Fat - (780 Sodium) - (18g) Protein - (38g) Carbs

Big Mac Nutritional Facts: (211g) Serving Size - (530) Calories - (240) Calories from Fat - (960 Sodium) - (24g) Protein - (47g) Carbs

BIG MAC WINS!

So there you have it. Big Mac crushes Big King and rules the Seven Fast Food Kingdoms and sits upon The Iron Skillet. To read my review on The Big Carl from Carl's Jr, click here :)

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Carl's Jr. Texas BBQ Thickburger - Rating: 7 out of 10

Mark Lim - I have never ever been this fat in my entire life but I figure if I'm going down, I'm going to stare Death right in the face, dual wielding burgers in each hand with mayonnaise and Sriracha exploding from my chest.

Today I had the Carl's Jr. 1/3 lb Texas BBQ Thickburger which is totally out of character for me because I would normally order the 1/2 lb but I could already picture my wife yelling at me because she would check The Cloud and see pictures of the burger and get mad at how I promised to eat healthy but then I could say I chose the lesser of two evils and got the 1/3 lb instead of the 1/2 lb and she'd still be mad. 

1/3 lb of dead cow and deep fried onion

The burger itself is quite good. I was surprised because I normally don't like Carl's Jr. but I'm really into the whole sweet and savory deal. The real star of the burger though is the jalapeno fried onions. They really give a good crunchy texture to the burger.

Thicke Burger. Get it? Whatever. It didn't take long to photoshop.

The description of the burger says it's a "brisket" which I'm not sure what that means but it's probably to help the illusion that this burger is somehow a fancy steakhouse burger.

Burger Autopsy

Usually any burger I get from Carl's Jr. that has anything crunchy is mush by the time I get it back home but these suckers were deep fried with a batter so thick, no BBQ sauce in the world could penetrate it which worked out in its favor. 

Teeth sinking action

The Mesquite BBQ sauce itself was kind of weird because it had all sorts of jibs in it. It was like eating white person salsa. I got really excited and thought it was chili at first but was pretty happy with the taste of it.

Sweet and Savory Explosion

The bun is supposed to be some new thing for Carl's. Fresh Baked Buns! I wasn't really impressed with it and I actually would have preferred the Pretzel bun at Wendy's which is sooooo goooood.

The Final Bite

My final though: The Carl's Jr. Texas BBQ Thickburger is pretty good. I was quite happy with the distribution of jalapeno fried onions and mushy bbq sauce. I got a little of it every bite. The sweet and savory flavors are really good and the meat itself tasted pretty clean. Overall I think I like this burger and give it a rating of 7 out of 10.

Carl's Jr's nutrition web page is busted so I can't put in the nutrition information for you guys. All I can say is that while the 1/3 lb burger will surely shorten your lifespan, the 1/2 lb will get you there 33% quicker.

Be Fat. Be Happy!

Yoshinoya Beef Bowl - A Tale of Haunted Memories

Mark Lim - Yoshinoya always brings back horrible memories for me. I was always a fat gluttonous pig, even in high school. One time after class, my friends Alex and Mike took me to eat at Yoshinoya.

After ordering we patiently waited for an eternity. We were salivating from the aroma of beef and sauce. When we finally got our food, Alex decided he needed to go to the bathroom.

My greedy fat ass could not resist reaching into his unguarded bowl and grabbing a handful of that soggy bacon-like meat and inhaling it. When he came back he was furious and confused. His lack of meat drove him into a rage. He blamed me for the atrocity but I was able to convince him that Mike did it and that I would never do something that terrible to someone.

For years he thought Mike had been the one who ruined his life that day until one time at a party I confessed that I stole his beef. I was forever known as The Beef Stealer. Alex even started using Beef Stealer as his screen name when we played video games with each other.

Large Beef Bowl

There's something unique about Yoshinoya. It has a very distinct smell. When you're around it there is no doubt you will recognize that signature stink.

The salty sweet juices are sopped up by the white rice so you get a flavorful burst in every bite. There are soft caramelized onions entwined in the meat threads that give it a varied texture.

Item	Serving Size (g)	Calories	Fat	Carbs
Beef Bowl - Large	624g	1060	38g	136g

Half the calories for your entire day, ALL of your fat grams, and close to 80% of your daily carb intake in one meal.

Category	Score	Comment
Taste:	7	Salty, slightly sweet and meaty
Presentation:	4	There's always that gray brown poop colored meat
Value	7	You get a good amount of food for around $5
Satisfaction:	6	After lunch I scrounged the office cabinets for candy
Rating:7 out of 10

On the right day I will crave Yoshinoya till no end. There's nothing out there quite like it. The smell, the texture, and the unique taste are something that will always give me memories, good and haunting.

Be Fat. Be Happy!

In and Out Burgers - Double Double Protein Style

I've gotten really fat. I think I'm the fattest I've ever been. Fat to the point where when I wear my old regular shirts people think they're hipster slim fit metro-sexual shirts. I don't want to be fat and I don't want to be a hipster.

I can't stand it any more. I'm trying to combat the fatness by eating at In & Out Burgers. I know that doesn't sound healthy but the only diet that I've ever had any success with is a low-carb diet and In & Out has the best Protein Style burgers in the world.

Ok, so I know this isn't protein style but I forgot to order it. Ok, I just really wanted bread.

Protein Style is basically a regular burger but instead of buns holding the burger together, it's wrapped with lettuce. It's a weird feeling to eat one. When you grasp the burger your brain is expecting to hold nice soft warm buns but instead you are greeted with cold, slightly moist vegetables. And without the bread sopping up all the juices you are forced to shove as much in your mouth as quickly as possible so you don't lose a single drop of the meaty runoff.

While ordering the burger "Animal Style" (chopped pickles, Thousand Island Dressing, and grilled onions) is not very carb conscious, it is a sacrifice I am willing to make. I figure if I do 20 or so curls with 5 lb dumbbells I'll burn through enough sugars to negate it.

I also wanted fries.

Every In & Out I've been to, no matter the time or location, has a line of cars snaking out of the lot.
At the office, no matter where we are going, if we see that the line is short at In & Out we will always eat there. It's a special place.

The wait is long but well worth it.

Carl's Jr. Southwest Patty Melt 6 Dollar Burger - $5 Rating: (8.5)

Mark Lim -

I hated going to Raging waters as a kid because it meant I had to spend the entire day shirtless in front of other people. Not only that, but there was this one kid in my daycare that always wanted to pinch my nipples and that became increasingly awkward.

One of my worst memories of that horrid place was the time when I came to a screeching halt in the middle of one of the tallest slides in the park. I guess the steady stream of water that's supposed to shoot you out of the tube like a bullet wasn't strong enough and when the dried out sections of my fat flab made contact with the plastic I came to a complete stop. Imagine someone throwing a ham down a flight of stairs and then it getting stuck half way down.

I tried my hardest to shimmy my way out but the friction caused by my fat was too much for me to overcome. No one noticed that I didn't come out of the other side so they sent a large woman down the tube and she eventually did a full force super drop kick on my back launching us both into a tailspin till we became a mangled ball of flesh splashing out at the bottom. That sucked.

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RANT ENDS. BURGER REVIEW BEGINS

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Today I decided to increase my fatness and relive childhood memories with Carl's newest Burger: The Southwest Patty Melt 6 Dollar Burger

They had a special promotion today where they were giving away a free Oreo Cookie Ice Cream Sandwich. It was like I won a chocolaty lottery.

The burger was quite a surprise. The star of the show was the ultra flavorful and liberally slathered Santa Fe sauce. It tasted very smokey and ethnic in a good way. It almost felt a little more Asian/Middle Eastern because the sauce had a curry-ish finish that I found really interesting and thoroughly enjoyed.

The mild jalapenos gave the burger that extra kick and crunch wile the soft buttery sourdough bread cradled everything together. I could have used a little more grilled onion though but other than that I was pleased.

I usually go through the drive though when I plan to take pictures for my blog but the line was packed with cars so I decided to eat my meal inside. I tried to sit in the very back of the restaurant so I wouldn't bother anyone but when I started taking pictures of the burger a I overheard a loud man saying, "Look at that guy over there. He's taking pictures of his burger. Who does that? What's he going to do, send it to someone? Who really want's to see a picture of his burger?"

I looked at him and responded, "I write for a food blog. I actually get paid to do something I love." Now, he doesn't have to know that I only make $3 a day but I wanted to make him feel like an ass.

It did upset me a little and make me feel self conscious about taking pictures for my blog in public to the point where I wanted to pack everything up and leave but I decided it was important for me to stay and finish. I really should have taken a picture of him and posted it on here.

Carl's Jr. Southwest Patty Melt 6 Dollar Burger

Taste -------------(9) That Sante Fe sauce was unique

Presentation -----(8) Looked ok. Not like the ad though

Price ------------- (7) $5 is getting pretty close to $6

Quantity --------- (8) The meat was fat and the sauce was plentiful

Satisfaction ----- (9) One of my new favorites.

Rating: 8.5 out of 10

Carl's is the leader of innovation in the world of Fast Food. They'll put anything on a burger to get you to buy one. Sometimes it's a hit and sometimes it's a miss but the Southwest Patty Melt is definitely a winner for me.

Till next time,

Be Fat! Be Happy!

McDonald's Chipotle BBQ Bacon Angus Burger - $4.98 Rating (8)

Mark Lim

- When I hear the someone say "McDonald's" I always picture a fat little butterball with his arm stretched out into the sky, Big Mac in hand, gasping for air as he slowly sinks into a filthy ball pit to meet his untimely demise. Worst. Death. Ever.

Did McDonald's make me fat?

Being a fat kid sucked. If you add being the only Asian in your entire elementary school and junior high then it a becomes traumatic. All the teasing did teach me how to adapt and would probably serve me well if I ever went to prison or was ever sent to Pandora to blend in with the Na'vi so I could steal their unobtanium. Still, the constant ridicule was horrible and I don't recommend fattening your children or making them Asian to build their character.

McDonald's isn't to blame for our country's obesity. I was the reason why I was a fat kid and I'm the reason why they'll have to chop off my foot when I get old. We need to learn self control and pass it on to our children if we ever want to see a change. Anyway, I'm done ranting. Time to fatten up!

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RANT ENDS. BURGER REVIEW BEGINS

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Everything now has chipotle in it. I have no clue what chipotle is but I assume it's just a word white people add in front of anything to Mexicanize it.

McDonald's has joined the bandwagon and has now come up with the Chipotle BBQ Bacon Burger.

The real burger actually kinda looks like the burger in the advertisement.

It's actually a surprise to me but McDonald's is one of the few fast food restaurants that consistently make good looking burgers. Carl's and Burger King's burgers usually look nothing like their advertisements but McDonald's has pretty good quality control.

As you can see the bacon looks good, there is sufficient onion, the cheese quantity is generous, and the BBQ chipotle sauce is placed not only on the top bun but also on the bottom. It is a surprisingly well crafted burger.

My bacon runneth over.

I actually got my scale out because I was curious about how much the burger actually weighed. 11oz is pretty decent. That's 0.68 pounds.

McDonald's Chipotle BBQ Bacon Angus Burger

Taste -------------(7) Bacon was crispy-ish. Sauce wasn't overpowering

Presentation -----(8) McDonald's makes good looking burgers

Price ------------- (6) $4.98 is about the average for a premium burger

Quantity --------- (6) The diameter was large but it could have been built higher

Satisfaction ----- (9) I was quite full after my meal and enjoyed myself

Rating: 8 out of 10

The one comment I have is that I didn't really taste the chipotle. It just kind of tasted like regular old BBQ sauce. I still enjoyed the burger and I will most likely return to try the others. I've actually had the McDonald's Angus Mushroom Burger and it was pretty good. You can read the review here: Angus Mushroom Burger

Till then,

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Arby's Roast Beef MAX - $4.98 Rating (3)

Mark Lim - When I was young the thought of piles of juicy thin sliced roast beef from Arby's drove me insane. I have many fond memories of my parents taking me there, and now that I think of it, that was probably the reason I was such a fat ass. The French Dip sub was my absolute favorite. I would sop up every last bit of au jus and savor every morsel by licking the dipping cup completely dry. There was no shame in tonguing the bottom rim for droplets of beef drippings.

It had been years since I've eaten at Arby's and with all the news about how red meat turns your body into a living corpse, I decided to go there and indulge in it's much safer and healthier cousin, gray meat.

This is the monstrous failure that is the Arby's MAX.

I am so sad. My childhood memories of dancing on roast beef island are now sullied by massive disappointment. Maybe it's because I now live in an podunk town with no understanding of quality control or maybe Arby's has just grown suckier over time.

I thought the crap food might have been an isolated indecent and that maybe, just maybe, if I went back for a French Dip Sub, all those memories of increasing my childhood obesity would come flooding back.

So I went back the next day and while I did end up licking the dipping cup I still came to the conclusion that Arby's is horrible and nowhere near as good as I remembered.

I am truly hurt and I probably will never eat at Arby's again unless they come out with something amazing or send me free burger coupons to try and win me back.

Arby's Roast Beef MAX

Taste ------------ (4) Boring pile of gray meat on a bun
Presentation -----(2) Unappetizing and depressing
Price ------------- (3) Definitely not worth $5
Quantity --------- (4) Tasted old and looked like zombie meat
Satisfaction ----- (3) There was a lot of it but I didn't want it.

Rating: 3 out of 10

I have a video of myself eating the burger and I might post that later when I have some time to edit. Until then:

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Five Guys - Double Cheese Burger with EVERYTHING - $6.00

Mark Lim - What does "Five Guys" mean? Did five guys start the chain? Can only five guys be in the establishment at once or it becomes a fire hazard? Is it code for some sort of homosexual eatery?

The name is still a mystery to me because I am too lazy to Google it.

It didn't matter. I was worn, beaten, and berated all morning and I was determined to make up for all of it during my precious lunch break.

The first thing you notice is the old fashioned diner look with a concise menu and self congratulatory signage all over the walls.

The second thing is the boxes and boxes and boxes of help-yourself-peanuts which I assume are picked at constantly by the homeless.

And finally you have the massive softball sized burgers. If you know me, I had to order EVERYTHING on the list of available savories which included: Mayo, Lettuce, Pickles, Tomatoes, Grilled Onions, Grilled Mushrooms, Ketchup, Mustard, Relish, Onions, Jalapeno Peppers, Green Peppers, A.1. Steak Sauce, BBQ Sauce, and Hot Sauce.

This was actually my second time eating here and I was very disappointed the first time. The burger didn't taste very meaty and tasted more like a backyard BBQ style burger that I would make at home.

The second time however, was awesome. I don't know what made it better but it just tasted different to me. I still have an issue with it not being as meaty as I'd like but my second visit was much more enjoyable.

The burger exploded but it was pretty darn good. I'm still not quite used to the fries since they're thick and cooked in peanut oil and lack that familiar salty oily goodness you get at most fast-food joints.

Another thing that impressed me was the choice of Cajun Fries and the extra scoop they put in your bag to top off your order. I always love to have those extra jibs floating around at the bottom of the bag after you think you're out of them.
Five Guys - Double Cheeseburger with EVERYTHING
Taste ------------ (8) So much stuff. Probably won't get the green peppers next time
Presentation ---(9) Packed from bun to bun
Price ------------- (9) $6 = Great value burger + unlimited nuts
Availability ----- (6) I think it's just a west coast thing
Quantity --------- (9) A lot of bang for your buck
Satisfaction ----- (8) Great burgers. I'll have to try the hotdog

Rating: 8 out of 10

Wonderful place if you haven't tried it out. I went there again last night just to give the Cajun Fries a second shot. Still not into it but the burgers are superb.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Ramsey Burger #2 - Burger and Fries Combo ($5.99)

Mark Lim - Some of the best tasting burgers come from small mom and pop shops. Maybe it's the extra care they put into each dish or maybe it's the unregulated sanitary conditions which allow the savory melding of sweat, grease, and rat droppings. Who really knows?

There aren't many good family owned burger places near my house but I've found a nice little place called Ramsey Burger #2 which I eat at on occasion.

It's location is unfortunately sandwiched between a Food 4 Less which is a supermarket that sells terrible knock offs of knock offs and a martial arts dojo filled with angry people kicking things.

Their burgers are smothered with dressing which I really enjoy and compliment the rest of the flavors. The patties are a little thin but their burgers taste pretty good.



I chat with the owner's son about their weekend special menudo which I am looking forward to trying if I ever get a day off on a Sunday. He pours me a little hot sauce from a bottle and tells me to dip my fries in it. It made my eyes water but fills me with the adventurous spirit of a conquistador.

After being surrounded by McDonald's, Burger Kings, Carl's Jrs, and Jack in the Box I forget how nice it is to eat at a place where I'm not treated like a number by a jaded 16 year old mother of two.

Ramsey Burger #2 is a great little place and it's my personal local burger joint. I look forward to eating their till I miss my mortgage payments.

Be Fat! Be Happy!