Homemade Sushi

Mark Lim - Some people say that American blood flows through my Asian veins.

Yes, I married a white woman.

Yes, I own two chihuahuas and don't plan to eat them.

Yes, I put mayonnaise on everything, even my sushi.


I've tried to Americanize sushi before and failed miserably. (Read here) Now I know that hot dogs, bacon, and Hormel chili do not make good fillers for rice and dried seaweed.

This time I tried a more traditional approach. The first thing I did was purchase discount cooked shrimp at the local Food4Less. The trick is to look for the package that has the most stickers on it that say "Buy this now and it eat it fast because if you wait too long to eat it you will probably die. Here's $2 off. - Seafood Department Manager"

After that, I put some mayo and Saracha hot sauce in a food processor with the shrimp and blend it all to make the awesome filling.

Next, I just take the sushi rice (rice with rice wine vinegar/sugar/salt) and spread it on the "Nori" or seaweed paper, place the shrimp filling in the middle, roll it up, and cut it into small pieces.

It's actually pretty easy. Hopefully next time I will be using raw salmon but I'm a little scared to buy fish at the local craphole supermarket and eat it raw.

Anyway, Be Fat! Be Happy!

Weird Sushi

Mark Lim - When the celestial bodies of boredom, the Food Network, and a fridge full of junk magically align it can produce a whole lot of weird.

So today, on my day off, I was watching Chopped on the Food Network and decided to build the weirdest snack I could from my fridge. I would like to introduce to you:

1) Bacon and String Cheese Sushi Rolls
2) Hot Dog and Chili Sushi Rolls
3) Hot Dog and String Cheese Sushi Rolls

The Bacon and String Cheese ones were ok and so was the hot dog but I think I totally missed the mark when I tried to add Hormel chili, lol.

Oh well, I guess I would have been chopped.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Homemade Sushi and Tempura

Mark Lim - How dedicated I am to eating fatty hamburgers and writing reviews about them? So dedicated that I split my pants at Walmart today. -->

Yes, the fat has won and has destroyed my favorite pair of jeans. The worst part is that I'm at a stage in my life where I really don't care about myself and I debated if I should continue shopping with my new thigh vent instead of going home and changing.

Sanity was able to take control and I quickly went home to put on a pair of baggy loose fitting shorts.

The purpose of the outing, before my crotch exploded, was to surprise my wife with a special dinner. I've been trying to get more vegetables into my system and figured deep frying would give me the best odds of not throwing them back up.

I decided to pick up some zucchinis, string beans, and sweet potatoes to make vegetable tempura out of. I also saw some discount shrimp and figured I couldn't pass up $4 a pound.

It's pretty hard to get sushi grade fish in our town but I figured I could still make California Rolls and throw some shrimp tempura inside.

Walmart actually had a decent selection of international food and had everything I needed to make my surprise dinner.

Secret Dynamite Sauce - Mayonnaise mixed with Sriracha "Rooster" sauce

Next time I'll make a video of myself rolling the sushi. They're not perfect but they're edible. I'm still learning how to cook and trying to get it into my thick skull that measuring things isn't a waste of time. You really can't eyeball something if you have no clue what you are doing.

The wife loved it or at least was being nice. A win for me either way.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Genki Sushi (Hawaii)- Goodies Served on a Conveyor Belt

Mark Lim - Genki Sushi is what I imagine a restaurant would be like on planet Mars. I can picture a young Arnold Schwarzenegger from Total Recall sitting at a booth by the conveyor belt being served sushi by a three breasted mutant.

This place is cool.

If you're still confused, here's a video of how it works:

A sushi chef creates a variety of wonderful Japanese treats and places them on the conveyor belt so they can make a trip around the restaurant and eventually into your mouth.

You can always order straight from the menu but the fun part is waiting to see what random goodies pass by your table.

Each item comes on a colored plate which represents how much the goodie is. For example, the picture above is a spicy tuna roll and since it's on a green plate it only costs $1.50. The "Explosion Roll" bellow is more expensive so it's placed on a black plate which means it costs $5.00.

At the end of the meal your server adds up all your colored plates and gives you a final total. The sushi is real affordable but it's easy to get carried away when you become mesmerized by the slow moving conveyor.

I don't know if it's because I have the mind of a child but I got extremely giddy watching food go round and round the restaurant. After a while I was pulling plates off the conveyor belt, not because I was hungry but because it was satisfying to grab random stuff.

Hot Dog Sushi

My wife had to give me the evil eye because I wouldn't stop. After our meal I asked how much the most 2 people have ever spent at Genki and he said $70. On our first trip we ended up spending $65 coming in at a close second. I then started to feel real bad for the people who sat down belt from us. I barely let any food get past me.

Genki Sushi

Taste ------------ (6) Not the best sushi but decent for the price

Presentation -----(9) It's like eating in the future

Price ------------- (9) $1.50 - $5.00 a plate is affordable

Quantity --------- (7) The portions are good for the price

Satisfaction ----- (8) I liked it so much I went 2 more times

Rating: 8 out of 10

Okay, so the food wasn't all that great but the experience was. I had a great time eating there and I always left satisfied. If you've got one in your area I recommend trying it. :)

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Shogun Sushi - All You Can Eat! ($27.00) Rating: 7

Mark Lim - The world is filled with epic battles between good and evil. Luke Skywalker fought Darth Vader, Al Gore wages war against Global Warming, and I try to conquer All You Can Eat Sushi Buffets.

My victim last weekend was Shogun Sushi in Yucaipa California. It was a long fight but I came out victorious.

The "Hot Night" Roll - Shrimp Tempura, Roe, Avocado, in a special spicy sauce. By far the favorite of the night. Ordered it twice!

The "Dragon" Roll - Eel and Avocado in a sweet sauce. Always a favorite

A picture of me and my fiance preparing for our sushi battle

Spicy Salmon Roll with Raw Salmon, Jalapenos, and a spicy sauce. It wasn't very flavorful and a little too hot. I didn't like it too much.

Crunch Roll - Crab Meat, Avocado, and little crunch toppers in a sweet sauce. Good texture.

Another Tempura Roll and a Cream Cheese Roll. The Cream Cheese Roll had raw salmon, crab meat, and avocado. I think there was too much cream cheese. I've had better versions elsewhere.

The "Vegas" Roll - Crab Meat, Avocado, and Cucumber battered and deep fried. It was too startchy and lacked flavor. The hip name and apperance threw me for a loop. This was probably the most disappointing roll I've ever had.

Shogun Sushi - All You Can Eat Sushi Buffet
Taste ------------ (8) There are some great rolls but a couple misses
Presentation -----(7) The plating was appetizing
Price ------------- (5) I've been to better places for $27
Quantity --------- (8) They charge double if you don't finish
Satisfaction ----- (6) You leave full but it's probably better to order single rolls instead of the buffet

I enjoyed myself at Shogun Sushi but there were harsh rules that had to be followed while eating all you could.

The first rule was if you had any left overs they would charge you double the price. I got to the point where I couldn't shove any more food down my throat and still had an entire 8 piece sushi left. It took all my strength and will power to finish and it made me sick.

The second rule was you only had 1 hour to eat so I was frantically ordering as much as I could and didn't get to slowly savor the sushi.

Overall I thought it was pretty good food but I wouldn't get the All You Can Eat for $27 again. It's much more relaxing and cost effective to order each roll separately. We were full after about $40 worth of sushi but our greediness forced us to eat a nauseous $80 worth.

If you're ever in Yucaipa and want to try Shogun Sushi, here is the address:

Shogun Sushi
33527 Yucaipa Blvd # 0
Yucaipa, CA 92399-2029
(909) 790-4778

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Shiki Restaurant: 5 Specialty Sushi Rolls: ($60) Rating: 8

Mark Lim - When I eat sushi I want to be served by Asians. There, I said it. Sure, there are other places with better tasting and more unique sushi than Shiki but the atomosphere, people, and the service are what make it my favorite restaurant. Asians! Yes, there are actually Asians that work there!

Chomp in Fullerton, CA has some awesomely creative rolls but it's always packed, you have to wait 20-45 minutes to be seated, and instead of being served by people from the Far East you're being served by people... further south.

I mean, if I want authentic Mexican food I want to be served by Mexicans. There, I said it again.

Here's the fierce Dragon Roll with fresh Eel.

Holding up Shiki Crunch Rolls

More Crunch Roll action

The Shiki Roll! I think. I totally forgot. This one had an assortment of raw fish on top of each roll.

This one is my favorite because I love love love that red roe.

Kings Roll with... I honestly don't know but I remember it was hot, like in a heat sort of way.

Shiki Restaurant: 5 Different Sushi Rolls
Taste ------------ (7) Not the best but still very good.
Presentation -----(9) I love my Dragon Roll!
Price ------------- (7) $9-$14 a roll isn't too bad.
Quantity --------- (8) Lots and lots of food!
Satisfaction ----- (9) I always leave full and happy

Rating: 8 out of 10

There's a lot to be said about Shiki. The service is great. The owner comes around to every table and greets you, there's almost always a booth open for you so you don't have to wait, and it's just a peaceful quiet atmosphere. The place has character and the people that frequent there are pretty nice.

If you like sushi you've got to go to Shiki. I'll see you there!

Shiki Restaurant
1936 E Katella Ave
Orange, CA 92867

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Chomps Sushi ($25) Rating: 8

Mark Lim - Combine Americanized Japanese dinning with douche bags sporting spiky frosted tip highlights and you've got Chomps. This restaurant is located near the strip of bars near downtown Fullerton (California) and is always full of drunken quad riding mixed martial arts wannabe "Bros" and scantily clad women belting out off key Journey songs. It's got its charms and if you're in the mood it's an awesome place but if you're looking for fine dinning atmosphere look elsewhere.

The food is impressive though. They fuse ingredients like cream cheese and jalapeno salsa into their sushi which give them a really interesting flavor. Their sauces are what make their rolls. The service speed is also amazing.

The first thing we ordered was the Crunch Roll. They fill it with crab, avocado, and tempura shrimp and drizzle a sticky sweet soy sauce all over it. I really enjoyed it.

Lauren and I enjoying our sushi

The next roll we had was a salt water eel roll which was also great. The presentation of the food was well done.

This orange monster is called the Kings Roll. It has shrimp tempura, avocado and crab meat baked with salmon, shrimp and covered in spicy "Cruzin" sauce.

I don't have a very discriminating palate. I can't tell the difference between a freshly made meal and a week old microwaved one but I think this dish was my favorite because the flavor was so much more powerful than the other rolls. I can taste it just by thinking about it. That's totally Jedi.

Our final dish was the Explosion Roll with explosion sauce. Here's the description: "fresh water eel, cream cheese, avocado and crab meat rolled and deep fried tempura style and topped with both our sweet eel and Cruzin' Sauces." I have ordered this before but it wasn't as good this time because there was too much cream cheese. It felt like I was taking a huge bite out of those silver foiled Philidelphia sticks. Sauce was good though.

Chomps Sushi:
Taste ------------ (8) Innovative rolls
Presentation -----(9) The stuff looked great on the plates
Price ------------- (7) It's about $12 a roll
Availability ----- (6) Not a lot around
Quantity --------- (8) I hardly get full on sushi but this was fine
Satisfaction ----- (8) Always enjoy the food. The atmosphere... not so much

Rating: 8 out of 10

When I'm out at a bar I don't mind the drunken screaming but when I'm eating I need some sort of quiet to savor my food. Trying to enjoy a meal to a censored Snoop Dogg's 'Ain't No Fun' (look up the song, it's classic) can be pretty funny though.

The food is totally unique and if you're out with your friends this is a really good place to go. I like Chomps, sometimes.

Be fat! Be happy!

(Make sure to visit my DirtyFilthyMoney.com blog too because I just updated it!)

Asia Buffet: ($15.00) Rating: 7

Mark Lim - Asia Buffet is a place where you can inhale 5lbs of shrimp and no one will judge you. They won't cut you off because they're afraid you'll get mercury poisoning like at Red Lobster, no no. It's a fat man's heaven.

The first plate I always get includes a sample of their sushi and sashimi.

It's never very good but quantity always beats quality at this buffet.

A picture of me on top of the food chain

Crab legs, Shrimp, and Calamari

Soft Shelled Crab and some sort of beef thing

A Soft Serve Frozen Yogurt for dessert

Asia Buffet: Random Seafood Crap
Taste ------------ (6) Not so great but lots of it
Presentation ---(6) I get creeped out eating water insects
Price ------------- (7) $15 = All you can eat
Availability ----- (4) Not many around
Quantity --------- (9) Lots of food and lots to choose from
Satisfaction ----- (7) It's a buffet. Go nuts.

Rating: 7 out of 10
If an extravagant Vegas buffet is a 10 and the Sizzler Salad Bar is a 1 then Asia buffet would be ranked a high mid-level all you can eat restaurant. It's always packed when I go so that's a good sign that the food gets changed or at least stirred around often. I guess that also means there's a higher chance someone spit on my crab legs.

Oh, well. It's a decent place to go when I feel like being a pig.

Maki Sushi - Spicy Pork Combo #57 ($8.95)

The only good thing about working over at my Dad's dry cleaners is I get fed. There's nothing like trying to hold down food after touching a bunch of people's dirty stinky clothes.

One of my favorite things to get is the Spicy Pork Combo #57 from Maki Sushi in Anaheim California:

I like how they advertise "No Skin".

I always eat the combo in order. It goes Tempura first, Rolls second, Spicy Pork and Rice third, and Miso Soup last. I don't eat the Salad because it's way too sweet and I'm a meatatarian.

Mmm... filthy animal

Down the hatch!

Brocolli, Sweet Potato, Shrimp, and Onion Tempura. See mom? I do eat veggies.

The plastic wrapped clothes ensure I don't get soy sauce on everything

Maki Sushi's Spicy Pork Combo #5:
Calories - Bad - Fat - Badder - Sodium - Really Badder - Carbs - Super Badder

I didn't ask for a nutritional guide but that was just my scientific guesstimate.

Taste ------------- (9) Good Stuff! Salad is sweet.
Presentation -----(7) Food looks great.
Price ------------- (6) Awesome portions for the price.
Availability ----- (2) Unless you live by me you wont eat here.
Quantity --------- (9) Great portions. Lots of food.
Satisfaction ----- (9) I always come back for more!

I've never actually been there because my dad picks up the order and gives it to me before he goes home but I picture a huge temple with people banging gigantic drums and lots of chanting and everyone eats on the floor with really cool samurai movies in the background. I don't want to ruin my dream so I'm never going there myself.