Burger King vs. McDonald's - Big King vs Big Mac - In-depth Burger Showdown

For centuries the house of McDonald sat upon the Iron Skillet and ruled the Seven Fast Food Kingdoms with a mythical burger that drew its power from a mysterious special sauce. Many have tried to challenge The Big Mac, some even declared a full-scale war (like the Big Carl) but were crushed by The Big Mac's weird third bun.

The Big King, ruler of the house Burger King, birthed two flame-broiled meat patties from ancient fire and through some sort of alchemy conjured up a rival "King Sauce" (Mayo, sweet pickle relish, yellow mustered, vinegar, garlic powder, onion powder, and paprika)

This blog will chronically in detail the epic battle between these two burgers.

When I first put them side by side you can definitely see that the Big Mac is quite larger than the Big King. (Big Mac: 1 - Big King: 0) Maybe it's because the Big Mac's buns are made from a compound that can withstand a 40 ton nuclear blast and that's why the bread keeps its shape.

As we dive into the first layer of the burgers we can see that the Big King's meat patties have "grill marks" which are achieved through some sort of jet fire conveyor belt contraption that gives the meat a smokey taste the Big Mac does not have. My wife says it reeks of awful liquid smoke and tries too hard to not taste microwaved (even though the are reheated in one) but I think I prefer it to the Big Mac's patty. (Big Mac: 1 - Big King: 1 )

The Big King uses a more rustic cut pickle (seen in the previous layer) vs Big Mac's really processed cut pickle. The Big King also has a SECOND coating of King sauce in this layer which really adds to the flavor but makes the burger super soggy. The Big Mac's special sauce has yet to make an appearance. (Big Mac: 1 - Big King: 2)

Here the Big King has cheese that has melted on the patty which was kind of nice but it made the center bun even soggier because it soaked through it. The Big Mac had a little more cheese. (Big Mac: 2 - Big King: 2)

In the final layer we see the first and final appearance of The Big Mac's special sauce. It would have been nice if they had put the cheese on the previous layer to to separate it from the lettuce.

So who gets to rule the Iron Skillet? When it comes down to aesthetics, the Big Mac looks like the superior burger but when you break it down into layers, The Big King looks like it was better constructed with higher quality ingredients.

But what it all boils down to is the taste. Which one of these burgers reigns supreme? First off, the Big Mac tasted clean and wasn't messy. The amount of sauce complimented the burger fine and it tasted pretty good.

The Big King on the other hand had much better quality ingredients (better meat & better pickles)  and seemed to have more special sauce than The Big Mac but for some reason I really didn't like it as much. My wife also tried the vs. challenge with me and also agreed that there was something off about The Big King.

Maybe it was how soggy the buns were or that it was a lot messier to eat but I didn't enjoy it as much. I wasn't thrilled about how The Big King handled their cheese or sauce but not to say that it's a bad burger. I just preferred The Big Mac. (Big Mac: 3 - Big King: 2)

Both can be purchased for $4 which I think is waaaaay over priced and both will significantly reduce your life span just as equally.

Big King Nutritional Facts: (190g) Serving Size - (510) Calories - (260) Calories from Fat - (780 Sodium) - (18g) Protein - (38g) Carbs

Big Mac Nutritional Facts: (211g) Serving Size - (530) Calories - (240) Calories from Fat - (960 Sodium) - (24g) Protein - (47g) Carbs

BIG MAC WINS!

So there you have it. Big Mac crushes Big King and rules the Seven Fast Food Kingdoms and sits upon The Iron Skillet. To read my review on The Big Carl from Carl's Jr, click here :)

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Carl's Jr. Texas BBQ Thickburger - Rating: 7 out of 10

Mark Lim - I have never ever been this fat in my entire life but I figure if I'm going down, I'm going to stare Death right in the face, dual wielding burgers in each hand with mayonnaise and Sriracha exploding from my chest.

Today I had the Carl's Jr. 1/3 lb Texas BBQ Thickburger which is totally out of character for me because I would normally order the 1/2 lb but I could already picture my wife yelling at me because she would check The Cloud and see pictures of the burger and get mad at how I promised to eat healthy but then I could say I chose the lesser of two evils and got the 1/3 lb instead of the 1/2 lb and she'd still be mad. 

1/3 lb of dead cow and deep fried onion

The burger itself is quite good. I was surprised because I normally don't like Carl's Jr. but I'm really into the whole sweet and savory deal. The real star of the burger though is the jalapeno fried onions. They really give a good crunchy texture to the burger.

Thicke Burger. Get it? Whatever. It didn't take long to photoshop.

The description of the burger says it's a "brisket" which I'm not sure what that means but it's probably to help the illusion that this burger is somehow a fancy steakhouse burger.

Burger Autopsy

Usually any burger I get from Carl's Jr. that has anything crunchy is mush by the time I get it back home but these suckers were deep fried with a batter so thick, no BBQ sauce in the world could penetrate it which worked out in its favor. 

Teeth sinking action

The Mesquite BBQ sauce itself was kind of weird because it had all sorts of jibs in it. It was like eating white person salsa. I got really excited and thought it was chili at first but was pretty happy with the taste of it.

Sweet and Savory Explosion

The bun is supposed to be some new thing for Carl's. Fresh Baked Buns! I wasn't really impressed with it and I actually would have preferred the Pretzel bun at Wendy's which is sooooo goooood.

The Final Bite

My final though: The Carl's Jr. Texas BBQ Thickburger is pretty good. I was quite happy with the distribution of jalapeno fried onions and mushy bbq sauce. I got a little of it every bite. The sweet and savory flavors are really good and the meat itself tasted pretty clean. Overall I think I like this burger and give it a rating of 7 out of 10.

Carl's Jr's nutrition web page is busted so I can't put in the nutrition information for you guys. All I can say is that while the 1/3 lb burger will surely shorten your lifespan, the 1/2 lb will get you there 33% quicker.

Be Fat. Be Happy!

Carl's Jr. Southwest Patty Melt 6 Dollar Burger - $5 Rating: (8.5)

Mark Lim -

I hated going to Raging waters as a kid because it meant I had to spend the entire day shirtless in front of other people. Not only that, but there was this one kid in my daycare that always wanted to pinch my nipples and that became increasingly awkward.

One of my worst memories of that horrid place was the time when I came to a screeching halt in the middle of one of the tallest slides in the park. I guess the steady stream of water that's supposed to shoot you out of the tube like a bullet wasn't strong enough and when the dried out sections of my fat flab made contact with the plastic I came to a complete stop. Imagine someone throwing a ham down a flight of stairs and then it getting stuck half way down.

I tried my hardest to shimmy my way out but the friction caused by my fat was too much for me to overcome. No one noticed that I didn't come out of the other side so they sent a large woman down the tube and she eventually did a full force super drop kick on my back launching us both into a tailspin till we became a mangled ball of flesh splashing out at the bottom. That sucked.

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RANT ENDS. BURGER REVIEW BEGINS

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Today I decided to increase my fatness and relive childhood memories with Carl's newest Burger: The Southwest Patty Melt 6 Dollar Burger

They had a special promotion today where they were giving away a free Oreo Cookie Ice Cream Sandwich. It was like I won a chocolaty lottery.

The burger was quite a surprise. The star of the show was the ultra flavorful and liberally slathered Santa Fe sauce. It tasted very smokey and ethnic in a good way. It almost felt a little more Asian/Middle Eastern because the sauce had a curry-ish finish that I found really interesting and thoroughly enjoyed.

The mild jalapenos gave the burger that extra kick and crunch wile the soft buttery sourdough bread cradled everything together. I could have used a little more grilled onion though but other than that I was pleased.

I usually go through the drive though when I plan to take pictures for my blog but the line was packed with cars so I decided to eat my meal inside. I tried to sit in the very back of the restaurant so I wouldn't bother anyone but when I started taking pictures of the burger a I overheard a loud man saying, "Look at that guy over there. He's taking pictures of his burger. Who does that? What's he going to do, send it to someone? Who really want's to see a picture of his burger?"

I looked at him and responded, "I write for a food blog. I actually get paid to do something I love." Now, he doesn't have to know that I only make $3 a day but I wanted to make him feel like an ass.

It did upset me a little and make me feel self conscious about taking pictures for my blog in public to the point where I wanted to pack everything up and leave but I decided it was important for me to stay and finish. I really should have taken a picture of him and posted it on here.

Carl's Jr. Southwest Patty Melt 6 Dollar Burger

Taste -------------(9) That Sante Fe sauce was unique

Presentation -----(8) Looked ok. Not like the ad though

Price ------------- (7) $5 is getting pretty close to $6

Quantity --------- (8) The meat was fat and the sauce was plentiful

Satisfaction ----- (9) One of my new favorites.

Rating: 8.5 out of 10

Carl's is the leader of innovation in the world of Fast Food. They'll put anything on a burger to get you to buy one. Sometimes it's a hit and sometimes it's a miss but the Southwest Patty Melt is definitely a winner for me.

Till next time,

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Carl's Jr. Hand Breaded Chicken Fillet Sandwich ($5.00)

Mark Lim - The new Carl's Jr. commercial uses Leonardo DiCaprio like inception to plant the idea in our heads that other fast food companies employ heartless terminators to assemble bread and lifeless cow parts with their cold dead hands.

They want their "Hand Breaded" chicken fillet sandwiches to invoke images of grandma dipping succulent chicken breasts in a homemade batter, waiting patiently till it fries into a crispy perfect golden brown mound of awesome.

But after what I saw at Carl's Jr. yesterday, I'd prefer if machines made my food.

When I got to Carl's I opted out of going through the drive through just so I could watch them "hand bread" my chicken.

I asked, "Do you really hand bread the chicken?" They said yes.

I asked, "Can I watch?" They said it would be ready in 6 minutes and shooed me away.

Other customers began to trickle in so I strategically stood in spot where I could spy the whole chicken breading process. I watched a hairy glove-less man pull out an already cooked chicken breast from a metal bin and slap together my sandwich like a bitter Ford assembly line worker but with much more fondling.

There was no "Hand Breading" or gentle grandma like love in the whole process. I was very sad. I had hopes that my sandwich would be prepared with craftsmanship and heart like the commercial promised but was only met with prison cafeteria efficiency.

The sandwich tasted old and dry, probably because the special sauce looked like it was applied with a Q-tip.

Carl's Jr. - "Hand Breaded" Chicken Fillet Sandwich

Taste ------------ (4) Dry and bland and tough.
Presentation ---(6) Not bad but if it were made by a robot it'd be better
Price ------------- (6) $5 = Chicken hand breaded who knows when
Availability ----- (9) Carl's is everywhere
Quantity --------- (7) Decent sized
Satisfaction ----- (4) Sad. Very sad.

Rating: 5 out of 10

Say what you want about robots but they are consistent and don't touch their face when making your sandwich. Would I get this sandwich again? No, but ask me again in 2025.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Calr's Jr. - Grilled Cheese Bacon Sandwich ($7.00 Super Sized Combo) Rating: 7

Mark Lim - Vegetarians rejoice! Carl's Jr. has come out with a brand new Grilled Cheese Sandwich just for all you herbivores out there. Huzzah!

(Oh, don't forget to remind them to hold all the fatty beef patty and delicious bacon strips)

Yes, Carl's Grilled Cheese Sammy wasn't exactly what I expected. I love my massive amounts of meat but I was hoping for more of a tasty cheese focused sandwich. Clearly it wasn't.

Carl's Grilled Cheese Bacon Burger

Enjoying my not so vegetarian sandwich

It's a pretty good looking and tasting but it wasn't anything special. It tastes just like any other sandwich they have except there's an extra slice of cheese in it. There's nothing new or exciting, just another gimmick using the same old ingredients.

They could have tried something really weird like a Mozzarella Cheese Stick Sandwich. That would have been so awesome. Instead they played it safe and just made something quite boring.

Carl's Jr: Grilled Cheese Bacon Sandwich

Taste ------------ (8) A good tasting sammy but very boring

Presentation -----(8) Made well, looked very appetizing

Price ------------- (6) A little expensive

Quantity --------- (7) A good amount of cheese and meat

Satisfaction ----- (7) Happy but not enlightened

Rating: 7 out of 10

In a world of Ipads and Blue dragon riding 3d Space Elves, I think Carl's Jr. could be a little more innovative with their Grilled Cheese. Would I get this again? Yeah, but only to remind my taste buds how forgettable this sandwich is.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Carl's Jr. - Big Carl ($2.71) Rating: 4

Mark Lim - Eating is a full contact sport and sometimes even the best professional consumers get injured.

I needed time to heal so I forced myself to take a break from food blogging for a couple of months because I slowly cultivated a gut that caused me many strange pains all over my body.

But now I'm back and ready to eat! (and exercise as suggested by my doctor)

The first burger on my list was the new Big Carl which was created by Carl's Jr. scientists to obliterate McDonald's Big Mac. In their new commercial they show a side by side comparison of the two burgers favoring the Big Carl.

On planet Earth, the burgers look more like my picture on the right.

McDonald burgers never look amazing but they also never look disgusting. My problem with Carl's Jr. is they dress their food up like fat juicy supermodels and parade them around like celebrities when in reality they look like this:

Thousand Island Vomit

It's a pretty big burger for $2.71 though

Cheesy stalagmites and stalactites

Carl's Jr. - Big Carl

Taste ------------ (3) Missing that tangy sweet Thousand Island flavor
Presentation -----(3) Surprise! It looks nothing like the ad
Price ------------- (7) $2.71 is not a bad deal for the volume
Quantity --------- (8) Quite filling but it was missing flavor
Satisfaction ----- (3) Every bite was like chomping on styrofoam

The size and the value of the burger is decent but the taste was absolutely boring. It's straight meat and cheese with a dollop of dressing. You couldn't even taste the Thousand Island on the burger. I had to google the ingredients to see if it was actually dressing because I was so confused by the blandness.

I'd rather have a Big Mac.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Carl's Jr - Teriyaki Burger ($6.00) Rating: 9

Mark Lim - It's summer time again and Carl's Jr. has found the perfect combination of meat, fruit, and side boob to sell their oldie but goodie Teriyaki Burger.

Yes, they've gone back to their roots of having hot chicks eat meat all sexy like. Whenever I see the commercial with Audrina from The Hills chewing on a big fat one all the blood rushes from my brain to my hypothalamus, the part of the brain that controls hunger.

Yeah right.

I really wished the burger looked like it did on the commercial but it's not the ugliest thing I've seen. You should check out Carl's Prime Rib Burger. Now that one looks like horse vomit.

Padma Lakshmi and I share a moment

I had my doubts going in because I've been let down by pretty much every Carl's burger I've had but this one was actually pretty tasty. It wasn't too sweet like the Kentucky Bourbon Burger. The pineapples were very savory and the teriyaki sauce didn't taste like eating 4 packs of Splenda.

Carl's Jr: Teriyaki Burger

Taste ------------ (9) Very good. Great combo
Presentation -----(7) It aint winning no beauty pageants
Price ------------- (6) $6 is almost worth it.
Quantity --------- (8) It was a good size
Satisfaction ----- (9) I quite enjoyed it.

Rating: 9 out of 10

This is definitely one of the few good burgers at Carl's Jr. that doesn't look or taste like excrement. The pineapples and teriyaki sauce complemented the burger and brought a hint of sweetness, savoriness, tanginess, juiciness, and texture to my mouth.

This was pretty damn good and I'd definitely get it again. Boobs.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Carl's Jr. - Portobello Mushroom $6 Burger ($5.00) Rating: 6

Mark Lim - The Portobello Mushroom $6 Burger looked amazing when I took it out of the box but Carl's Jr. always finds a way to disappoint me.

Other than being a little squished from sitting at the bottom of the bag the burger looked just like the commercials. The juices, melted cheese, and portobello mushrooms merged together in perfect harmony.

It fit just right in my hand. I couldn't wait to swallow it whole.

The mushrooms were plentiful and covered the entire burger which is rare experience at Carl's. They're supposed to be sauteed in garlic butter but were lacking saltiness. Normally when I order a specialty burger they don't give me enough of the "special" (e.g. Prime Rib and Kentucky Bourbon) but this one had the right amount of goodies.

The other condiments suffered though. Look at the pitiful amount of onions they gave me. They did include two large slices of tomato which was a surprise since they normally skimp on them.

Don't let my large head fool you. The burger is pretty big.

Here's a picture of the two nice tomato slices.

This is the second time I've had the Carl's Jr. Portobello Mushroom burger and while it looks wonderful the flavor is too subtle for me. The meat had a nice smokey flavor but the swiss cheese was too mild, the mushrooms didn't have the garlic butter kick, and there weren't enough onions to spice it up.

Carl's Jr. - Portobello Mushroom Burger
Taste ------------ (4) Bland, mild, no strong flavor
Presentation -----(9) Good looking burger
Price ------------- (6) $6 burgers are $5. Not that great of a deal
Quantity --------- (8) It's large and hefty
Satisfaction ----- (5) I was full but I wanted something salty after

Rating: 6 out of 10
It's not a bad burger. I like it much better than the Prime Rib or the Kentucky Bourbon which are both horrific but it lacked that "Mmm..." factor. Before I took my first bite I had visions of a delicious flavor explosion but was disappointed with a taste deprived mouthful. I guess looks can be deceiving.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 3 times, I don't think so. I won't be getting this burger a 3rd time.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Carl's Jr: Kentucky Bourbon Burger ($4.00) Rating: 2

Mark Lim - I think I threw up more times after eating Carl's Jr's new Kentucky Bourbon Burger than I did when I drank a whole bottle of Jim Beam.

I truly hate this burger.

The sauce was sweet like a Jolly Rancher covered in maple syrup and the entire burger is SOAKED in it. Oh, and they always give you that crappy thick white part of the lettuce which is disgusting.

I think some fancy Onion Straws might have helped...

...if they had put any on it!

Watch out! It's trying to throw up!

Carl's Jr: Kentucky Bourbon Burger

Taste ------------ (2) Disgustingly sweet
Presentation -----(2) That was an ugly burger
Price ------------- (3) $4? Worth $1.50 at the most
Quantity --------- (4) As big as a DVD
Satisfaction ----- (1) Vomit

Rating: 2 out of 10

Fast food is starting to piss me off. Instead of having gimmicks like the Candied Yam Burger they should try and learn to make a decent normal burger first.

There are guys like me who are too stupid and lazy to cook and we depend on fast food to survive. My dream is that one day someone from a big company will see my blog and say, "That burger looks disgusting. Let's try and make better ones."

If they can't fix the quality of something as simple as a burger I think you'd better start get used to using chopsticks because America is going to be taken over by China.

Be Fat! Be Happy!