Mark Lim -I hated going to Raging waters as a kid because it meant I had to spend the entire day shirtless in front of other people. Not only that, but there was this one kid in my daycare that always wanted to pinch my nipples and that became increasingly awkward.
One of my worst memories of that horrid place was the time when I came to a screeching halt in the middle of one of the tallest slides in the park. I guess the steady stream of water that's supposed to shoot you out of the tube like a bullet wasn't strong enough and when the dried out sections of my fat flab made contact with the plastic I came to a complete stop. Imagine someone throwing a ham down a flight of stairs and then it getting stuck half way down.
I tried my hardest to shimmy my way out but the friction caused by my fat was too much for me to overcome. No one noticed that I didn't come out of the other side so they sent a large woman down the tube and she eventually did a full force super drop kick on my back launching us both into a tailspin till we became a mangled ball of flesh splashing out at the bottom. That sucked.
RANT ENDS. BURGER REVIEW BEGINS
Today I decided to increase my fatness and relive childhood memories with Carl's newest Burger: The Southwest Patty Melt 6 Dollar Burger
They had a special promotion today where they were giving away a free Oreo Cookie Ice Cream Sandwich. It was like I won a chocolaty lottery.
The burger was quite a surprise. The star of the show was the ultra flavorful and liberally slathered Santa Fe sauce. It tasted very smokey and ethnic in a good way. It almost felt a little more Asian/Middle Eastern because the sauce had a curry-ish finish that I found really interesting and thoroughly enjoyed.
The mild jalapenos gave the burger that extra kick and crunch wile the soft buttery sourdough bread cradled everything together. I could have used a little more grilled onion though but other than that I was pleased.
I usually go through the drive though when I plan to take pictures for my blog but the line was packed with cars so I decided to eat my meal inside. I tried to sit in the very back of the restaurant so I wouldn't bother anyone but when I started taking pictures of the burger a I overheard a loud man saying, "Look at that guy over there. He's taking pictures of his burger. Who does that? What's he going to do, send it to someone? Who really want's to see a picture of his burger?"
I looked at him and responded, "I write for a food blog. I actually get paid to do something I love." Now, he doesn't have to know that I only make $3 a day but I wanted to make him feel like an ass.
It did upset me a little and make me feel self conscious about taking pictures for my blog in public to the point where I wanted to pack everything up and leave but I decided it was important for me to stay and finish. I really should have taken a picture of him and posted it on here.
Carl's Jr. Southwest Patty Melt 6 Dollar Burger
Taste -------------(9) That Sante Fe sauce was unique
Presentation -----(8) Looked ok. Not like the ad though
Price ------------- (7) $5 is getting pretty close to $6
Quantity --------- (8) The meat was fat and the sauce was plentiful
Satisfaction ----- (9) One of my new favorites.
Rating: 8.5 out of 10
Carl's is the leader of innovation in the world of Fast Food. They'll put anything on a burger to get you to buy one. Sometimes it's a hit and sometimes it's a miss but the Southwest Patty Melt is definitely a winner for me.
Till next time,
Be Fat! Be Happy!