Carl's Jr - Teriyaki Burger ($6.00) Rating: 9

Mark Lim - It's summer time again and Carl's Jr. has found the perfect combination of meat, fruit, and side boob to sell their oldie but goodie Teriyaki Burger.

Yes, they've gone back to their roots of having hot chicks eat meat all sexy like. Whenever I see the commercial with Audrina from The Hills chewing on a big fat one all the blood rushes from my brain to my hypothalamus, the part of the brain that controls hunger.

Yeah right.

I really wished the burger looked like it did on the commercial but it's not the ugliest thing I've seen. You should check out Carl's Prime Rib Burger. Now that one looks like horse vomit.

Padma Lakshmi and I share a moment

I had my doubts going in because I've been let down by pretty much every Carl's burger I've had but this one was actually pretty tasty. It wasn't too sweet like the Kentucky Bourbon Burger. The pineapples were very savory and the teriyaki sauce didn't taste like eating 4 packs of Splenda.

Carl's Jr: Teriyaki Burger

Taste ------------ (9) Very good. Great combo
Presentation -----(7) It aint winning no beauty pageants
Price ------------- (6) $6 is almost worth it.
Quantity --------- (8) It was a good size
Satisfaction ----- (9) I quite enjoyed it.

Rating: 9 out of 10

This is definitely one of the few good burgers at Carl's Jr. that doesn't look or taste like excrement. The pineapples and teriyaki sauce complemented the burger and brought a hint of sweetness, savoriness, tanginess, juiciness, and texture to my mouth.

This was pretty damn good and I'd definitely get it again. Boobs.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Jack in the Box - Mini Buffalo Ranch Chicken Sandwiches ($3.99) Rating: 5

Mark Lim - Burger technology has advanced leaps and bounds over the past couple months. Gone are the ways of the big greasy bacon packed behemoths of yesteryear. Mini is in.

Much like cellphones and trendy dogs, burgers have gotten smaller and smaller. The new mini on the market is the Jack in the Box Mini Buffalo Ranch Chicken Sandwich:

3 Pack of Mini-ness

I actually like the concept of the Mini Burger. They're small and neatly put together. It's easier to portion out if you want to save some for later and they're much cleaner to eat.

Sampling a baby burger

Jack's Mini Buffalo Ranch Chicken Sandwiches aren't very good. The patty is just slightly larger than a dinosaur chicken nugget and tastes just as good as a microwaved one. If they had used quality meat from their chicken fingers it would have been a much better burger.

Acrobatic Mini Burgers

Another thing that disturbs me about the burger is the amount of Frank's Red Hot Sauce they put on them. I like hot sauce in small quantities but sometimes they drench the entire sandwich in it ruining the flavor.

Jack in the Box - Mini Buffalo Ranch Chicken Sandwich

Taste ------------ (5) Too much sauce not enough chicken
Presentation -----(6) They look ok. Nothing to brag about
Price ------------- (6) $3.99? I can get 4 double cheese burgers for that
Quantity --------- (5) The key word here is "Mini"
Satisfaction ----- (4) Naw, not going to get this again

Eh, I expected way too much. I actually really liked their Mini Sirloin Burgers but their Mini Chickens are pretty gross. Steer clear, Cowboy.

Oh, I'll leave you with this video of me trying to fit them into my mouth:

Be Fat! Be Happy!

McDonalds - Angus Mushroom Burger ($5.00) Rating: 7

Mark Lim - Late January I banned all personal consumption of McDonalds after I was tricked into purchasing 2 Big Macs which I later "refunded" into a porcelain receptical.

It's been 5 months so last week I lifted the restriction and got myself a McDonalds 1/3 Pounder Angus Mushroom Burger. They're actually quite good.

Not a bad looking burger.

Looks like someone chewed it for me! Thanks!

Ugly but tastes fine.

McDonalds - Angus Mushroom Burger

Taste ------------ (7) The mushroomy taste came out just right
Presentation -----(6) Pretty with it's bread hat on but disgusting with it off
Price ------------- (5) $5 is a little expensive for this kind of burger
Quantity --------- (6) It hit the spot
Satisfaction ----- (7) Definitely much better than I thought it was going to be

Usually McDonalds burgers look like a bum used it as a pillow before being served but I was quite surprised because the Angus Mushroom Burger looked edible.. When I lifted the hood it did look pretty bad though but I've kind of learned to expect that from all fast food chains.

The taste was nice and clean. The McDonalds mushrooms had a better flavor than Carl's Portobello Burger which really blew me away. The cheese wasn't bad either and the burger patty wasn't greasy and disgusting. I would definitely get this burger again.

Be Fat! Be Happy!