Red Meat will kill you with awesomeness

Mark Lim -

Researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health released study results showing that red meat consumption was associated with a higher risk of early death. The more red meat study participants reported they ate, the more likely they were to die during the period of time that data collection took place.

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to do something to defend one of my closest and delicious friends:

Red Meat Shirt

Support Red Meat because it is awesome and makes us fat like every true American should be. If we stand up against science we shall all die a tasty death together with smiles on our faces and full bellies.

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Carl's Jr. Southwest Patty Melt 6 Dollar Burger - $5 Rating: (8.5)

Mark Lim -

I hated going to Raging waters as a kid because it meant I had to spend the entire day shirtless in front of other people. Not only that, but there was this one kid in my daycare that always wanted to pinch my nipples and that became increasingly awkward.

One of my worst memories of that horrid place was the time when I came to a screeching halt in the middle of one of the tallest slides in the park. I guess the steady stream of water that's supposed to shoot you out of the tube like a bullet wasn't strong enough and when the dried out sections of my fat flab made contact with the plastic I came to a complete stop. Imagine someone throwing a ham down a flight of stairs and then it getting stuck half way down.

I tried my hardest to shimmy my way out but the friction caused by my fat was too much for me to overcome. No one noticed that I didn't come out of the other side so they sent a large woman down the tube and she eventually did a full force super drop kick on my back launching us both into a tailspin till we became a mangled ball of flesh splashing out at the bottom. That sucked.

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RANT ENDS. BURGER REVIEW BEGINS

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Today I decided to increase my fatness and relive childhood memories with Carl's newest Burger: The Southwest Patty Melt 6 Dollar Burger

They had a special promotion today where they were giving away a free Oreo Cookie Ice Cream Sandwich. It was like I won a chocolaty lottery.

The burger was quite a surprise. The star of the show was the ultra flavorful and liberally slathered Santa Fe sauce. It tasted very smokey and ethnic in a good way. It almost felt a little more Asian/Middle Eastern because the sauce had a curry-ish finish that I found really interesting and thoroughly enjoyed.

The mild jalapenos gave the burger that extra kick and crunch wile the soft buttery sourdough bread cradled everything together. I could have used a little more grilled onion though but other than that I was pleased.

I usually go through the drive though when I plan to take pictures for my blog but the line was packed with cars so I decided to eat my meal inside. I tried to sit in the very back of the restaurant so I wouldn't bother anyone but when I started taking pictures of the burger a I overheard a loud man saying, "Look at that guy over there. He's taking pictures of his burger. Who does that? What's he going to do, send it to someone? Who really want's to see a picture of his burger?"

I looked at him and responded, "I write for a food blog. I actually get paid to do something I love." Now, he doesn't have to know that I only make $3 a day but I wanted to make him feel like an ass.

It did upset me a little and make me feel self conscious about taking pictures for my blog in public to the point where I wanted to pack everything up and leave but I decided it was important for me to stay and finish. I really should have taken a picture of him and posted it on here.

Carl's Jr. Southwest Patty Melt 6 Dollar Burger

Taste -------------(9) That Sante Fe sauce was unique

Presentation -----(8) Looked ok. Not like the ad though

Price ------------- (7) $5 is getting pretty close to $6

Quantity --------- (8) The meat was fat and the sauce was plentiful

Satisfaction ----- (9) One of my new favorites.

Rating: 8.5 out of 10

Carl's is the leader of innovation in the world of Fast Food. They'll put anything on a burger to get you to buy one. Sometimes it's a hit and sometimes it's a miss but the Southwest Patty Melt is definitely a winner for me.

Till next time,

Be Fat! Be Happy!

McDonald's Chipotle BBQ Bacon Angus Burger - $4.98 Rating (8)

Mark Lim

- When I hear the someone say "McDonald's" I always picture a fat little butterball with his arm stretched out into the sky, Big Mac in hand, gasping for air as he slowly sinks into a filthy ball pit to meet his untimely demise. Worst. Death. Ever.

Did McDonald's make me fat?

Being a fat kid sucked. If you add being the only Asian in your entire elementary school and junior high then it a becomes traumatic. All the teasing did teach me how to adapt and would probably serve me well if I ever went to prison or was ever sent to Pandora to blend in with the Na'vi so I could steal their unobtanium. Still, the constant ridicule was horrible and I don't recommend fattening your children or making them Asian to build their character.

McDonald's isn't to blame for our country's obesity. I was the reason why I was a fat kid and I'm the reason why they'll have to chop off my foot when I get old. We need to learn self control and pass it on to our children if we ever want to see a change. Anyway, I'm done ranting. Time to fatten up!

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RANT ENDS. BURGER REVIEW BEGINS

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Everything now has chipotle in it. I have no clue what chipotle is but I assume it's just a word white people add in front of anything to Mexicanize it.

McDonald's has joined the bandwagon and has now come up with the Chipotle BBQ Bacon Burger.

The real burger actually kinda looks like the burger in the advertisement.

It's actually a surprise to me but McDonald's is one of the few fast food restaurants that consistently make good looking burgers. Carl's and Burger King's burgers usually look nothing like their advertisements but McDonald's has pretty good quality control.

As you can see the bacon looks good, there is sufficient onion, the cheese quantity is generous, and the BBQ chipotle sauce is placed not only on the top bun but also on the bottom. It is a surprisingly well crafted burger.

My bacon runneth over.

I actually got my scale out because I was curious about how much the burger actually weighed. 11oz is pretty decent. That's 0.68 pounds.

McDonald's Chipotle BBQ Bacon Angus Burger

Taste -------------(7) Bacon was crispy-ish. Sauce wasn't overpowering

Presentation -----(8) McDonald's makes good looking burgers

Price ------------- (6) $4.98 is about the average for a premium burger

Quantity --------- (6) The diameter was large but it could have been built higher

Satisfaction ----- (9) I was quite full after my meal and enjoyed myself

Rating: 8 out of 10

The one comment I have is that I didn't really taste the chipotle. It just kind of tasted like regular old BBQ sauce. I still enjoyed the burger and I will most likely return to try the others. I've actually had the McDonald's Angus Mushroom Burger and it was pretty good. You can read the review here: Angus Mushroom Burger

Till then,

Be Fat! Be Happy!