Friday, September 26, 2014

Super Mex - The Quest for the Perfect Chili Relleno Burrito

I realize I do not make healthy choices. My wife got really mad at me because she caught me making a bagel at midnight last night. But eating a bagel right before you go to bed can't be that bad for you, right? I mean, it's not packed with meaty cholesterol and it's not deep fried. It even has fruit! (Raisin Bagel)

It kind of reminds me of how I reason with myself whenever I stare deep into a menu at any Mexican Restaurant. I always promise my wife that I will eat healthy and I use some sort of Jedi mind tricks to convince myself that a Chili Relleno burrito is good for you. I mean, it's not packed with meaty cholesterol and I think chili is a vegetable, right?

Chili Rellenos are basically a big fat chili that has been force fed handfuls of cheese, battered with an egg based coating and deep fried till the oil soaks in and turns the cheese into a gooey super blob.

Super Mex Chili Relleno Burrito
It looks like the chili relleno is making a face at me and sticking its tongue out.

I am on the constant search for the world's greatest Chili Relleno burrito. Today at work we stopped in at Super Mex in Riverside CA. Super Mex is pretty clean inside but I hate the seating. I always feel so crammed in but maybe it's because I'm getting fatter. Oh, and there's always like 5 cops eating there at all times. It's not like I have meth in my pockets or anything to hide but I just can't relax when I'm there.

Super Mex Burrito
Super Mex Chili Relleno Burrito Pre-Devouring

Super Mex makes a decent sized burrito. The plate is actually smaller than a dinner plate so it looks much bigger. It's a chain restaurant so they try to keep their portions cost effective unlike a mom and pop place where they have the power to make gigantic pillow sized burritos.

Oh So Fat Mark Lim
Nom Nom

As far as the taste goes I quite enjoyed it. It was packed with melty cheese that spilled over on the rice and chili itself was quite flavorful. The trickiest part usually is the batter. If you get it too eggy it becomes gross but Super Mex had just the right amount.

Final Bite - Super Mex Chili Relleno Burrito
The Final Bite

Super Mex makes a pretty good, maybe not so healthy, chili relleno burrito. The one thing that could probably be improved upon is the tortilla. I believe that you can really tell how good a restaurant is by the tortillas they use. Taco Bell for instance has that pure white always limp and cold tortilla. This one was definitely not freshly made but it had a nice char, crisp, soft, and had a little chewy which I like. 

Category Score Comment
Taste: 8 Good cheese and chili. Could use better tortilla
Presentation: 6 When I first saw the burrito I wasn't too impressed visually.
Value 6 I think it was around $7 for the burrito which is on the high end.
Satisfaction: 7I did enjoy myself and was quite full. 
Rating: 7 out of 10

Super Mex is in between a mom and pop family Mexican restaurant and an El Torrito. It's a decent Mexican Restaurant. Food takes a while, their complimentary chips are kind of weird (large tostada shaped) cops are always there, but the food is good and the price is doable.

Would I eat here again? Yes, because it's "healthy."

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Burger King vs. McDonald's - Big King vs Big Mac - In-depth Burger Showdown

For centuries the house of McDonald sat upon the Iron Skillet and ruled the Seven Fast Food Kingdoms with a mythical burger that drew its power from a mysterious special sauce. Many have tried to challenge The Big Mac, some even declared a full-scale war (like the Big Carl) but were crushed by The Big Mac's weird third bun.

The Big King, ruler of the house Burger King, birthed two flame-broiled meat patties from ancient fire and through some sort of alchemy conjured up a rival "King Sauce" (Mayo, sweet pickle relish, yellow mustered, vinegar, garlic powder, onion powder, and paprika)

This blog will chronically in detail the epic battle between these two burgers.

When I first put them side by side you can definitely see that the Big Mac is quite larger than the Big King. (Big Mac: 1 - Big King: 0) Maybe it's because the Big Mac's buns are made from a compound that can withstand a 40 ton nuclear blast and that's why the bread keeps its shape.

As we dive into the first layer of the burgers we can see that the Big King's meat patties have "grill marks" which are achieved through some sort of jet fire conveyor belt contraption that gives the meat a smokey taste the Big Mac does not have. My wife says it reeks of awful liquid smoke and tries too hard to not taste microwaved (even though the are reheated in one) but I think I prefer it to the Big Mac's patty. (Big Mac: 1 - Big King: 1 )

The Big King uses a more rustic cut pickle (seen in the previous layer) vs Big Mac's really processed cut pickle. The Big King also has a SECOND coating of King sauce in this layer which really adds to the flavor but makes the burger super soggy. The Big Mac's special sauce has yet to make an appearance. (Big Mac: 1 - Big King: 2)

Here the Big King has cheese that has melted on the patty which was kind of nice but it made the center bun even soggier because it soaked through it. The Big Mac had a little more cheese. (Big Mac: 2 - Big King: 2)

In the final layer we see the first and final appearance of The Big Mac's special sauce. It would have been nice if they had put the cheese on the previous layer to to separate it from the lettuce.

So who gets to rule the Iron Skillet? When it comes down to aesthetics, the Big Mac looks like the superior burger but when you break it down into layers, The Big King looks like it was better constructed with higher quality ingredients.

But what it all boils down to is the taste. Which one of these burgers reigns supreme? First off, the Big Mac tasted clean and wasn't messy. The amount of sauce complimented the burger fine and it tasted pretty good.

The Big King on the other hand had much better quality ingredients (better meat & better pickles)  and seemed to have more special sauce than The Big Mac but for some reason I really didn't like it as much. My wife also tried the vs. challenge with me and also agreed that there was something off about The Big King.

Maybe it was how soggy the buns were or that it was a lot messier to eat but I didn't enjoy it as much. I wasn't thrilled about how The Big King handled their cheese or sauce but not to say that it's a bad burger. I just preferred The Big Mac. (Big Mac: 3 - Big King: 2)

Both can be purchased for $4 which I think is waaaaay over priced and both will significantly reduce your life span just as equally.

Big King Nutritional Facts: (190g) Serving Size - (510) Calories - (260) Calories from Fat - (780 Sodium) - (18g) Protein - (38g) Carbs

Big Mac Nutritional Facts: (211g) Serving Size - (530) Calories - (240) Calories from Fat - (960 Sodium) - (24g) Protein - (47g) Carbs


So there you have it. Big Mac crushes Big King and rules the Seven Fast Food Kingdoms and sits upon The Iron Skillet. To read my review on The Big Carl from Carl's Jr, click here :)

Be Fat! Be Happy!

Sunday, September 21, 2014

D'Elias Grinders, Riverside CA - Bread that Flakes Like Old Paint (Rating: 5 out of 10)

You know how your dogs absolutely lose their minds when they hear you make any kind of sound that resembles opening a bag of treats? That's how I get when I get a whiff of Au Jus. Oh that savory flavorful cup of beef drippings always makes my mouth water. I attribute French Beef Dip sandwiches as the reason I was a chunky porklette kid.

For a couple days now my co-worker has been trying to get me to go to D'Elias Grinders, a sandwich shop in Riverside CA that has been there since 1955. Legend has it that the bread is baked from scratch daily and has a unique flaky crust that has customers so loyal that they have family Fed-Ex them sandwiches out of state.

After scanning their menu I came across the item that I had longed my entire childhood for, the Beef Dip with Au Jus. I was so excited.

When I unwrapped the grinder from its paper prison I was hoping to see it explode like a tightly packed suitcase but instead it just looked like an empty baguette. I expected to see stacks of thinly sliced beef piled so high but instead go this:

Grinder Autopsy

The grinder itself was quite large but felt really light. I was a little disappointed with the meat distribution because the last 3 inches was just a cheese sandwich.

Sogging up that crunchy bread

The bread was super hard. After the legend of the bread build up I was sorely disappointed. The bread tasted like it wasn't baked that day, but baked in 1955 when the place opened. Not only did it flake off like bad eczema but it got all over my clothes and made me feel dirty.

I can see a small population of people with flaky bread fetishes that would really like the bread but it definitely was not for me.

After dipping the grinder  in the au jus it really softened up and got all meaty juicy super fantastic. I had to stop myself from making out with it. 

The Final Bite

If I were at home and no one was watching I'd probably lick the container clean to savor all that delicious fat dripping. 

The bites that had meat were pretty good and I enjoyed the flavors. If it were on any other kind of bread I would have given them a much better score. 

Category Score Comment
Taste: 6 Au Jus was flavorful and super tasty. The bread was no good.
Presentation: 5 When I opened it up I was expecting it to explode with delicious goodness but all i saw was bread
Value 6 The grinder was about $7 and you got a lot of volume for it, not a lot of meat though.
Satisfaction: 5I was full but a softer bread would have made me really happy
Rating:5 out of 10

I had purchased a second sandwich for a co-worker and brought it back to the office and the consensus was the same. Bread no good and not enough meat. It was not really worth the lunch rush wait.

I don't think anyone at the office is going there again but you could probably talk me into giving it another shot. Hopefully things will be better next time. Actually, I kind of like writing bad reviews when places suck. I'll let them decide.

Be Fat! Be Happy!