Sunday, September 21, 2014

D'Elias Grinders, Riverside CA - Bread that Flakes Like Old Paint (Rating: 5 out of 10)

You know how your dogs absolutely lose their minds when they hear you make any kind of sound that resembles opening a bag of treats? That's how I get when I get a whiff of Au Jus. Oh that savory flavorful cup of beef drippings always makes my mouth water. I attribute French Beef Dip sandwiches as the reason I was a chunky porklette kid.

For a couple days now my co-worker has been trying to get me to go to D'Elias Grinders, a sandwich shop in Riverside CA that has been there since 1955. Legend has it that the bread is baked from scratch daily and has a unique flaky crust that has customers so loyal that they have family Fed-Ex them sandwiches out of state.

After scanning their menu I came across the item that I had longed my entire childhood for, the Beef Dip with Au Jus. I was so excited.


When I unwrapped the grinder from its paper prison I was hoping to see it explode like a tightly packed suitcase but instead it just looked like an empty baguette. I expected to see stacks of thinly sliced beef piled so high but instead go this:

Grinder Autopsy

The grinder itself was quite large but felt really light. I was a little disappointed with the meat distribution because the last 3 inches was just a cheese sandwich.

Sogging up that crunchy bread

The bread was super hard. After the legend of the bread build up I was sorely disappointed. The bread tasted like it wasn't baked that day, but baked in 1955 when the place opened. Not only did it flake off like bad eczema but it got all over my clothes and made me feel dirty.

I can see a small population of people with flaky bread fetishes that would really like the bread but it definitely was not for me.

After dipping the grinder  in the au jus it really softened up and got all meaty juicy super fantastic. I had to stop myself from making out with it. 

The Final Bite

If I were at home and no one was watching I'd probably lick the container clean to savor all that delicious fat dripping. 

The bites that had meat were pretty good and I enjoyed the flavors. If it were on any other kind of bread I would have given them a much better score. 

Category Score Comment
Taste: 6 Au Jus was flavorful and super tasty. The bread was no good.
Presentation: 5 When I opened it up I was expecting it to explode with delicious goodness but all i saw was bread
Value 6 The grinder was about $7 and you got a lot of volume for it, not a lot of meat though.
Satisfaction: 5I was full but a softer bread would have made me really happy
Rating:5 out of 10

I had purchased a second sandwich for a co-worker and brought it back to the office and the consensus was the same. Bread no good and not enough meat. It was not really worth the lunch rush wait.

I don't think anyone at the office is going there again but you could probably talk me into giving it another shot. Hopefully things will be better next time. Actually, I kind of like writing bad reviews when places suck. I'll let them decide.

Be Fat! Be Happy!
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