Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Worst Food Ever

Mark Lim - I've been in a horrible food slump lately. The main portion of my diet consists of hot water mixed with powdered meat flavoring. If you combine that with my lack of human contact from living out in the middle of nowhere, I probably could survive a solo mission to Mars.

There were a few disgusting exceptions to my astronaut like diet but they were all made me queasy. Here's Taco Bell's Black Taco:

Taco Bell, Black Taco, Oh So Fat
I hate their regular tacos and this one tasted exactly like one. The black shell added absolutely no flavor. The only thing I was excited about was to see if it made my stool look like a pipe wrapped in thick electrical tape but alas, it didn't. Yes, I can talk about stool especially if the Black Taco tasted like it.

Next on my Worst Food Ever tour was Panda Express:
Panda Express, Sweet Fire Chicken Breast, Oh So Fat, Mark Lim
I was having a hard time choosing between their brand new heavily marketed Sweet Fire Chicken or their classic Orange Chicken so I asked my server which one she preferred. "Orange Chicken" she said. Then she politely told me that the other one sucked.

Of course now that I knew that it sucked I had to try it. It was pretty nasty. The sauce is fine but the chicken was way over-breaded and cold. I must have gotten the last scoop sitting under the heat lamp because it was oh so very stale.

Panda Express, Sweet Fire Chicken, Mark Lim
That's my fake smile. I am also covered in paint.
Panda Express, Combo meal, Oh SO Fat
For our Saturday date night I took my woman to the most romantic casual dinning establishment of them all, Applebees.
Applebees, appetizers, steak quesadilla, chicken sliders, shrimp
I was dying of hunger because we spent a long time at Ross looking at strange chicken figurines and ugly checkered window curtains so I decided to get the super appetizer sampler. It was surprisingly not too bad. The Steak Quesadillas were tasty and the amount of shirmp we got amazed me.
applebees chicken slider, oh so fat
Boring old Chicken Sliders
oh so fat, mark lim, applebees
Enjoying my first night eating at a restaurant in a looooooooooooog time
reuben sandwich, applebees, oh so fat
I was in the mood for something super salty that would kick me right in the face so I ordred Applebee's version of a Reuben sandwich.
reuben sandwich, applebees, oh so fat
It was gross. It gave me acid reflux. It gave me the swine flu. Well, maybe it didn't but a little piece of me died that night. I probably will never eat at Applebees again.
Well that concludes my Wost Food Ever tour. I saw some good burger commercials on TV so it looks like I'll have to break the piggy bank so I can go try them.
Be Fat! Be Happy!


JustinM said...

I've had everything you wrote about. While I kind of like the Black Jack taco, I don't like anything else. What disappointed me most were the Applebee's Dynamite Shrimp. The ones I had contained no spice, they were just way too sweet.

SnapandPrint said...

I love Panda Express but wouldn't touch the last bit under the warmer light of anything there.

Forget the black just looks blah.

I refuse to eat at Applebees.

Cannot wait to see your take on the burgers when you try them.

Anonymous said...

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